Feeling The Fear

...And doing it anyway!

Hello hello!

The idea for this blog post was sparked when I received a lovely text from my Mum a few weeks ago. I had confessed to her my fears about going to New Zealand and how uncertain I was feeling. I was so reluctant all along to admit I was afraid just because I felt so silly. Once I spoke about it though I instantly felt so much better. I then was reminded of an article my friend sent me a while back when I confided in her about my fears of travel. It's a blog post by NomadicMatt called 'how to overcome your fears' and I would really recommend having a read if you are in the same position I was. I went back and had a read myself and it really got me thinking of my own ways I helped myself cope with being afraid of travel. I know on some level it's normal to feel fear about uprooting your whole life, quiting your job and spending all the money you have on travelling to the other side of the world. It's sounds pretty scary doesn't it? Fuck yes. But knowing the fear is normal did not make me less scared.
The worst part about feeling afraid is that this was something I had always thought about, daydreamed of, planned and finally saved up to do make it all happen. I spent months fantasising about leaving my job and packing my backpack, bursting with excitement. Then suddenly, without any warning, I was there with my visas sorted, flights booked and I was questioning my own sanity. 

It all just came on me like a ton of bricks, except the bricks were replaced with tears. I slowly stopped looking up great things to do in New Zealand and started thinking of every worst case scenario that could happen. Every conversation I have with people seems to be revolved around my trip and how it's getting close (I know how close it's getting..no need to remind me) and how jealous they are and how exciting it all is etc etc. I struggled to pretend I was excited when really I was overcome with fear. Everyone kept telling me how normal it is to be a small bit scared but that I should be more excited than scared. This was more alarming to me because I was definitely more scared than excited. 

I have never experienced anything like this. It's not like going on a holiday and knowing you will be back home safe and sound within a few weeks. No no...this is a whole other kettle of fish. Mainly I was annoyed at myself because I was the one ruining the excitement for myself. I wanted this, I made it happen and then I turned into a big scaredy cat.

If you are feeling like I was and suddenly find yourself terrified of all the unknown that surrounds such a big life changing decision, then keep reading. These are all the things I did to help myself and Fast forward to now I am literally overcome with excitement. I have just finished up work and I am feeling so free and ready to start the next chapter of my life. No going back now :) 

1. Tip numero uno- Let it out 

Talking about it really helps. Even the writing process of this blog post helped. If you are lucky enough like me to have a travel partner then confide in them. They might be just as scared in which case you will be a comfort to one another, and if not they will help get you excited again. I know my boyfriend is sh**ing it just like me. It is all so new to us but he's being great. Don't feel like you have to keep it all inside and pretend you are really excited. Firstly people will see through it and secondly it really doesn't do any good for anyone. Let it out, cry if you have to! Write down all your fears. Your body needs to release the tension and once it has it will make room for all those positive  thoughts to start flowing again. 

2. Ask those who have done it

This one is pretty self explanatory. If you know anyone who has moved abroad, and chances are you do in this day and age when half of Ireland has moved to Australia etc., then ask them how they felt before they went. Most people will tell you they were pretty nervous. And if things went great for them then chances are they will for you too. I know people who have gone away and may never return here to live, I know people who have gone and come back but who given the chance would go away again, and I know very very few people who have gone and come back because it didn't work out. 

3. Remind yourself why you are doing this

For me travel is always something I have wanted to do. I want to see the world and experience new cultures. I want to skii and scuba dive and swim in crystal clear waters. I am sick of looking at the world in books and on a TV screen. For me it's all about the experiences and broadening my horizons. I was feeling very lost in life and sick of working aimlessly so I decided it was the perfect time to make my travel plans, especially since my boyfriend was totally on board aswell. I'm going to miss my family and friends so much but it's time for the next chapter in my life and sticking around here doesn't really seem too appealing to me. So whatever your reasons for booking those flights..remember them and remind yourself of them every day. 

4. Get organised

If there's one thing that is going to add to your fear it's being unorganised. You really don't want to get to the other side of the world and realise you forgot some vital documents or that you left it too late to sort some things out. Do it right now. Get your shit together and then at least you can relax for a while before you go. Panic over. 

5. Think of other times you were afraid 

When you do this you will realise that almost all of those times you were afraid, you had absolutely no reason to be. We always build things up to be so much worse in our heads and things always end up being better than what we thought they would be. I know that starting my most recent job I was so nervous and scared and now I couldn't imagine being nervous about going in there, the place is like my second home. I know I will be nervous about whatever new job I start in New Zealand, but I know it will all be fine! Better than fine in fact. Unless your life is in immediate danger, the feeling of fear is pretty much useless. Do not let fear win! 

6. Think of how lucky you are

Think of all the people you know who only wish they could be setting off on a new adventure like you. I'm sure you know some people who make up all kinds of excuses not to go, going back to my previous tip, do not let the fear win. These people only wish they had the guts to go and book those flights. Maybe you will even inspire other people to do it, but that's not going to happen if you back out now.

7. Think positively

This one may seem obvious but honestly it takes work. Just when you start thinking positively before you know it your mind is consumed with thoughts about anything bad that could happen on your trip. You might think you are being logical by thinking of all the worst case scenarios but honestly your not. Do not even entertain these thoughts for a moment longer. Start filling your head instead with all the amazing things that could happen. For every thing that could go wrong, I guarantee there are so many more that could go right but you will never know unless you take the risk.

8. You can always come home

This one is the hardest for me to accept. If I go away and end up wanting to come home I will feel like such a failure but I need to remind myself that there really is no shame in it. Every one of us needs to do what is best for ourselves and not make decisions based on what people will think. The people who matter will understand and support me and the people who don't well, their opinion is insignificant. If you go away, and realise it really is not for you, then you can come home at any time. You know that you tried it and if you didn't you would regret it but now you can make another life plan, one where moving abroad is not a part of it. Another lesson learned. 

Going back to that lovely text my Mother sent me, she said "Making a big life change is pretty scary, but know whats even scarier ?

Regret."